That look you get when you see a hot 14 year old.

That look you get when you see a hot 14 year old.

I’m feeling uncomfortable about all my favorite rock stars.

I was about 10 pages into Anthony Kiedis’ book “Scar Tissue”, when I realized the Red Hot Chili Peppers singer is a complete and utter d bag. So much so that I decided to google “Anthony Kiedis sexual assault” because after reading only 10 pages of his book I thought that that seemed like something he might have done. I was correct. The worst thing I found was this video. If you want to question your love of the Chili Peppers and especially Kiedis forever then please proceed in watching it. The fact that this behavior was captured on camera makes me scared to think of how they behaved off camera.

When Keidis casually mentioned in his book that he moved in with a 15 year old when he was 25, I decided to research which rock stars were into preteen girls. The answer is lots. Maybe most. Think of your favorite rock stars of all time and I guarantee at least one liked preteens. The list stretches from Bowie to Marvin Gaye to Prince to Iggy Pop and beyond. The grossest stories I found were about Jerry Lee Lewis, Chuck Berry, Steven Tyler, and Jimmy Page. Continue on if you want to think of them differently forever.

Jerry Lee Lewis

Most people probably know about ol Jerry Lee but I want to bring up his indiscretions again because WTF. Jerry not only married his 13 year old cousin when he was 23 but also murdered 2 of his 7 wives and fucking got away with it. Maybe everyone already knows this but I just found out about it and I am shook that anyone regards this man as more than absolute scum. I don’t care how good his music is (yes, this MF is still kicking). If you want to hear more about Jerry Lee Lewis and his follies, I learned about him via Disgraceland the podcast. I do want to preface that recommendation by saying that while the podcast tells some really juicy stories about rock stars and their crimes, I hate two things about it: the host has the most overly dramatic delivery, and he definitely glorifies the crimes.

Chuck Berry

Chuck Berry, also known as the “Father of Rock N Roll” was arrested in the early 60s for transporting a 14 year old girl across state lines for sex. He was also suspected to have been transporting cocaine in his guitar case, but when the police tried to bust him the only drug they found was weed. What they did find, however, was lots of pornography, a lot of which featured underage women. The icing on this pervert cake though is when Berry installed hidden cameras in the bathroom of the restaurant he owned, because apparently watching women take a shit is super hot.

Steven Tyler

So, now for Steven Tyler. He somehow got guardianship of his 14 year old girlfriend when he was 27 so that he could take her on tour with him. Probably worse than Tyler in this situation are the girl's parents.

Jimmy Page

Alright if you haven’t heard this story about Jimmy Page you’re in for it. When one of Zeppelin’s underage groupies refused to sleep with him, he had her kidnapped by his bodyguard and then proceeded to take her on tour with him. All the while keeping her locked in his hotel rooms so she was always at his disposal. The groupie never pressed charges and still says she isn’t mad about it because of the bond they formed while on the road... Stockholm Syndrome?

The only reason I am going to continue listening to Chili Peppers, Bowie, and everyone else is because if I scratched off all of the music made by creepy ass sexual assaulting rock stars I would have NOTHING to listen to. In that way, I feel like it has become okay for male rock stars to have sex with underage women (and apparently kidnap them and kill them) only because all of them are doing it.

In conclusion, and because of how sad I am about all of this research, I will include this short list:

I have yet to find sexual assault or sex-with-a-minor allegations against any of the following rock stars:

             1. ANY FEMALE ROCK STAR