ROYAL WEDDING FASHION PANEL REVIEW

 

As we all know, royal events are always filled with pastels, strange hats, and sparkling brooches. Here at Disaster Serum, we have curated a group of looks from the royal wedding and assembled a panel of fashion experts (AKA our buddies) to comment on some of the wedding's most memorable looks.

 
 
 
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Charlotte 

There is no way this woman isn’t a professor at Hogwarts.

Sophie 

This is maybe the most British looking human I have ever seen. I love her Hugh Hefner robe moment and pile of feathers headpiece.

Marilyn

When you have a royal wedding to attend at noon, but a Victorian brothel to run at 1.

Austin

Birds of a feather flock together… so let’s get you back to the Ravenclaw house before dusk.

 
 
 
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Charlotte

 I love Serena Williams and I think she is precious and can do whatever she wants, including pinning this dumbass dollop of ribbons on her head.

Sophie

This is actually one of the more tame headpieces that I saw at the royal wedding and that’s saying something.

Marilyn

SERENA! DID YAH PUT YAH NAME IN DA GOBLET OF FIYAH!?!

Austin

Serena: “I’ve got Wimbledon trophies in better shape than this guy.”

 
 
 
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Charlotte

She wore all pink to match Prince Charles’ face.

Sophie

Awwww cotton candy grandma. I actually think this is so adorable. But I’m mainly living for her got damn choker which is studded to the gods.

Marilyn

Did you ever wonder what happened to all of your pink boas from Party City?

Austin

A wispy hat to match her wispy hair.

 
 
 
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Charlotte

 I’m noticing a lot of side-of-the-head hats. Apparently in England the sun is only in one half of the sky.

Sophie

It seems like there is an unspoken monochrome theme happening at this wedding. That being said, why would you choose muted medium green as your one color? Maybe only the kween can go full lime.

Marilyn

DIY TIP: if you don’t have time to buy a new hat for the Royal Wedding, simply throw the potpourri from the guest bathroom on your head.

Austin

For most people, ideas happen when the light bulb comes on… in this case it’s an empty fish-bowl. This could explain the seaweed green theme going on here.

 
 
 
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Charlotte 

Queen of England? More like Queen of Boogers. Ha. ha. To be fair, this bitch is feeling her oats so hard.

Sophie 

YAS KWEEN I’m living for this Barney fantasy.

Marilyn

UPDATE: Queen is said to be critic’s favorite to play the joker in upcoming Batman movie.

Austin

First Willy Wonka and now the Queen of England?! Johnny Depp’s career is clearly not over. (I’m looking at you Pirate’s of the Caribbean 5 haters)

 
 
 
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Charlotte

Her original outfit was actually pink, but then her hat fell in a fire so some adjustments were made to match.

Sophie

How do these hats stay on their heads?

Marilyn

Katniss Everdeen walking into the Capital like:

Austin

She couldn’t decide where to put the Marilyn Monroe mole, so she put one on her nose, one on her forehead, and one on her temple. My favorite outfit yet.

 
 
 
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Charlotte

Stylist: What kind of hat do you want?

Her: Have you ever squished a marshmallow between your fingers?

Sophie

This whoopi cushion hat is ruining it for me. Otherwise she looks so darling.

Marilyn

Mama Doria serving a tube of natural mint toothpaste LEWK.

Austin

The pear doesn’t fall far from the tree… or is that a Granny Smith apple? Either way, Mama Doria for World’s Greatest Mom

 
 
 
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Charlotte

This hat is serving Sassy Pastor at a gospel church realness.

Sophie

You get a feather! You get a feather! You get a feather!

Marilyn

Oprah: What should I wear to the Royal Wedding?

Megan: Just wear something casual.

Oprah:

Austin

I just know Dr. Oz is behind this outfit. Maybe he’s moved on to giving fashion advice these days.

 
 
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Charlotte 

If this girl wasn’t beautiful she would look so dumb.

Sophie

Love the use of tied up bundle of incense sticks on the hat. Very found-art.

Marilyn

Lizzie McGuire chopstick-bun realness.

Austin

Dark green is usually associated with jealousy, and that’s just what I am. I hope I don’t see her at the bouquet toss!

 
 
 
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Charlotte

This looks like the bitchiest clique to ever exist. I want to be in it so bad.

Sophie

Oh my god I love all of this. I can’t even think of anything bad because they all look so chic and british.

Marilyn

When you and the girls are on the hunt for Mr. Darcy.

Austin

All good things come in threes!

 
 
 
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Charlotte

I think Posh mistook the event for a royal funeral.

Sophie

 When you mix up the date of the funeral you have to go to with the date of the wedding you also have to go to.

Marilyn

Posh handing the keys to her brand new Porsche to the Valet. Porsche spice.

Austin

It’s navy blue and it’s lovely. You go Posh!