Interview with a 4 year old: Rock n Roll

I (someone who does not have kids) am fortunate enough to be in the presence of children on a near daily basis. We play games, make art, and discuss the paramount topics of our ever changing world. One of our favorite topics to examine is music, rock ‘n’ roll in particular. While some people may believe that it is not possible to have an adequate discourse about music with a preschooler, I am here to prove to you that you are so so wrong. I sat down with a 4 year old boy, and what resulted was an imaginative and wise dialogue, with topics ranging from The Who to dentistry to top hats.

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Me: Who is your favorite rock n roll band?

Child: Ummmm

Me: You don’t know?

Child: No I do….

Me: You’re just thinking about it?

Child: Yeah….. THE WHOS!

Me: Why is The Who your favorite rock n roll band?

Child: Cause it plays the best.

Me: Do you like it when they smash their instruments?

Child: Yeah…

Me: Why do you think they do it?

Child: Uh because they think it's funny

Me: Do you think it's funny?

Child: Yeah... Oh! I like it when they smash the guitar and kick over the drums.

Me: Why?

Child: I don’t know

Me: Is it wild and crazy?

Child: Yeah

Me: Do you remember the drummers name?

Child: Keith Moon

Me: Is that a cool name?

Child: No

Me: But you think Slash is a cool name, huh?

Child: Yeah

Me: Do you remember what kind of hat he wears?

Child: No

Me: A top hat *I show him some pictures*

Child: Why is it a top hat?

Me: I’m not sure why its called that, how many top hats do you think he has?

Child: I think he has 160.

Me: 160! Thats a lot of hats!

Child: I said more than that, I said 160.

Me: Yeah, that’s what I said.

Child: He has 160 hats?

Me: I don’t know how many hats he has.

Child: You have gums on your teeth and they stay there forever.

Me: So do you.

Child: I know that.

Me: What’s your favorite rock n roll song?

Child: I wanna rock n roll all nightttt and partay everyday I wanna rock n roll all nightttt and partay everyday (this continues for some time).

Me: Why is that your favorite rock song?

Child: Because I like to dance to it.

Me: What dance moves do you do?

Child: No dance moves.

Me: I thought you just said you like to dance to it, do you like to rock out to it?

Child: *nods then demonstrates a sort of headbanging dance*

Me: Do you like The Beatles?

Child: *Shakes head*

Me: Do you know what songs they sing?

Child: *Nods*

Me: Which ones?

Child: I forgot.

Me: Yellow Submarine and Octopus’ Garden. Do you like those?

Child: *laughs* I like Octopus’ Garden. It’s funny, Octopus’ Garden.

Me: If you were in a rock n roll band what would it be called?

Child: Uhhhh... The Floop.

Me: The Floop? I like that! and what instrument would you play in The Floop?

Child: The trumpet.

Me: The trumpet?

Child: The trumpet that’s yellow. The whole thing yellow.

Me: Wow! Who would play guitar?

Child: Nobody!

Me: What about Slash?

Child: Nope

Me: Really? You like him!

Child: *laughs*

Me: Would you sing or would someone else sing?

Child: Someone else would be the singer.

Me: Who would it be?

Child: Uhhh *points to me*

Me: Why me?

Child: *laughs*

Me: Who would play the drums?

Child: *points to me* You have to be the singer and the guy that's playing the drums. You know who really has to play the drums?

Me: Who?

Child: *points to himself* I have to play the drums and I have to play the trumpet.

Me: Wow! That's pretty impressive! Can you sing a little bit of one of your songs?

Child: No, because my brain is like this *makes a wave motion with his hand next to his head*

Me: Can you get your ukulele and play?

Child: Yes! *runs into the other room and returns with ukulele then begins singing* Floop floop floop bloop bloop bloop…. *Stops singing* I’m gonna go to the bathroom because I have to go to the bathroom everyday.